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Ever think that you’d love to immerse yourself in a great book and realize that you simply can’t find what you want to read?

I’m finding it very easy to list out the no’s; the things that I don’t like, didn’t care for, or thought ridiculously stupid or just haphazardly constructed.

I just finished the Chick-Lit 50 shades of Grey series.

I had the realization about half way through book 1 that I wanted the fantastically wealthy, intelligent, strong, dominating, stalker Mr Grey to go back to therapy, fix his issues and then find a great girl to get involved with, get hitched and start on the American dream of 2.2 kids. With loads of therapy maybe the fictionally wet dream perfect (in every other way) Mr. Grey could create a warm loving family unit to live in a big house overlooking Puget Sound.

Instead what I read was a smart very young inexperienced virginal (they are always virgins in these books) girl portrayed as savior and sex slave to a moody domineering controlling sex crazed bastard who should have been told to go grow up and be a man first before getting involved with another human being.

It’s this portrayal of the dark sexy man who needs to be saved from himself that I find a load of codswallop.

It’s not romantic, its fantasy porn for women who want more interesting sex lives with partners that they couldn’t catch when they themselves were virginal inexperienced young women.

From the perspective of porn its a fuck every 3-5 pages, otherwise the underlying story is buried and lost under the heavy breathing of the main characters. Oh and why name him Christian, why not something more suitable like Vlad, or Fabio.  Thor perhaps.

Having said that, bravo EL James, you’ve made a ton of money doing something I cannot Writing a bestseller trilogy.

So I find myself sitting with the questions; what do you want to read? and what would make you say YES to a book? I really want the YES!

I want to see women portrayed as creating normal happy productive lives for themselves, based on their own values and personal desires. Not imagining what it would be like to have penises(if only for a single day), or having awful relationships where all is dismal and the only thing left to do is die or metamorphose the beloved but tragically emotionally underdeveloped schmuck.

The well of loneliness depressed me to the point that I really wondered if that’s all there is to life, and had me wondering why anyone would want to be a guilt ridden lesbian, even in 1926.

If Radcliffe Hall is said to have opened the door to explore lesbian culture and sexuality, what then has EL James created?

What doors has she revealed? And where do those doors lead?