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For the last 11 years I’ve spent my time working side by side with other women in the trenches, in banking. Yes, trenches is the correct word; a furrowed out hole in the ground where they can keep their heads down, work hard, and not get their heads blown off by management, hoping only to go home with their minds intact at the end of each day. Now that I’m unemployed, and have moved out of the trench, I feel as though I’m more properly located in a foxhole with a snipers rifle. A foxhole with a computer, the local mullet wrapper (newspaper) delivered every day, and ample time to take a few potshots at the enemy when a good sniping opportunity presents itself. Now the question is… which political party deserves the first shot.

You might ask, so why all the war references in relationship to employment in banking? Well, the democratic party would have me think that everything that I hold dear as a woman is being threatened by the oppressive republican party, and let’s face it there is nothing more republican than banking. It seems preposterous in an election year that the desire to alienate half of the population is a campaign strategy, doesn’t it? But the democrats are telling me that the republican party desires to do just that by legal decree, and further limitation of my feminine rights. You see, I’ve been receiving personalized emails from key members of the democratic party telling me that the republicans want to overthrow Roe v. Wade, that they (republicans) want to eliminate health care for breast exams and contraceptives, and make abortions so abhorrently embarrassing that no one would even consider having one.

News flash for men: having an abortion is no picnic, it’s humiliating, painful, soul wrenching, and already abhorrently embarrassing, not at all like a visit to the proctologist. Now turn your head and cough. See that wasn’t so bad, let’s move on.

I’ve heard from Al Gore, Patty Murray, Al Franken, and a host of others who appear to be very concerned for my rights as a woman, and their fund raising goals. All I have to do to stop the republican shenanigans is to fork over $5 or $10 to the democrats and they’ll defend my interests. Just 90 thousand more dollars will ensure your god given rights, they say. Help us raise the money to fight them off, they plead.

Here’s what I have for the democrats. You already have my vote, now Get out of my pockets! Quit trying to pander to my deepest darkest fears. Go do your jobs. If I approached my employer saying, you know I’d love to do that thing that you hired me to do, but see, Betsy over there in the other cubicle is fighting this tooth and nail and I just need more money to make this happen for you. Really? That line of thinking would get me a cardboard box and an immediate invitation to a permanent relocation outside the company walls.

Your job, dear elected democratic representatives, is to protect my rights as a citizen of the United States, and to eliminate discrepancies in equality, regardless of gender, age, etc,… You stand for me, and all those like me who believe that we can take care of ourselves AND those within our society who are the most vulnerable. You stand with me to insure that everyone has equal access to an education, employment, health care, social services, and social security. Your job, my dear democrats is to get out of the trenches. Stand up and make yourselves targets and defend your constituencies interests. You say you want to fight the evil republican empire; stop begging for money, use your resources and influence to get the public on your side, and for god’s sake tell the truth, the whole truth about the issues so that we can make informed decisions about our lives.

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