WWU Graduation Checklist:
silly hat and stupid frock-bought!
degree application form with corresponding ticky boxes-completed all boxes checked and all t’s dotted. eyes crossed.
transcripts printed in size 3 font.
graduation ceremony sign up form and ticket request submitted
joined alumni association expect nothing of value in return.
Left to do:
nag oblivious adviser to sign off on my requirements form
take said form to registrars office
give the registrars office even more money so that they can move my paperwork from the left side of the desk to the right side.
find 4 people who love me enough to sit through a graduation ceremony.-(this will be harder than Gothic Lit and less tedious than Math 114.)
find job while I sit back and wait for June 14.
Why did I do all that work and spend all that money?
So that I can receive a piece of paper which is not a diploma but a rolled up piece of 20 lb cheaper than dirt 3% recycled copy paper that says:
This is not an actual diploma- however if you have completed all of your graduation requirements then in 4 to 6 weeks you will receive an envelope with the real diploma in the mail. Please note: Fancy frame and other congratulatory bells and whistles not included.
Let me repeat: This is not an actual diploma, had this been an actual diploma you would be entitled to a mild form of celebration. Please commence celebration now by flipping your tassel to the left and throwing the silly black frisbee hat into the air with 1200 of your fellow students who may also be graduates.
Pick up your hat and go home.
That is all.“